Less than 3 weeks..
This week we were emailed our tentative schedule for China. It’s not AS packed as last years but then again, it’s also a “tenatative” schedule so I shouldn’t expect it to stay as is.
As I looked over the printed copy, There was this overwhelming gush of emotions brewing in my heart. My eyes stung for a while and I couldn’t sort out what exactly I was feeling. It was a mix of joy and thanksgiving for the most part. Thanksgiving to God for allowing everything to happen thus far and thanksgiving to God for a husband who was so understanding and supportive of me to go back even though it meant he would spend Christmas alone…again.
I felt so undeserving to have this opportunity to go back and see those I had seen a year ago.
A few days ago in my Life Journal reading, Jesus spoke the parable of the talents.
Matthew 25:21 ESV
“His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.”
It’s been a year since I left China and I wanted to give up communication at times. Especially during month 4-6. I think I was just overwhelmed and busy with the busyness of life. I stopped uploading photos, writing posts on QZone and WeChat and at some time I felt like questioning whether what I did in month 1-3 was actually doing anything. I had a meal with somebody later time that and shared that I felt “burnt out” from posting on these venues. I really feel that person was a God-sent because they encouraged me to continue and not give up. That many of these students may see “missionaries” or Christians as just people who come to do what they want to – share the Gospel but not care about their lives. That’s when I felt the sting in my heart. Why was I keeping in touch with these international friends? It was simply to show them my life in USA and encourage & remind them that “I CARE”.
I went right back into QZone and WeChat that night to update my uploads and post some new messages. Even in those small things did I realize that God even considers that a work being done whether I see the results immediately or not.
And so here I am at month 11. with 18 days left before I catch a plane to go back to China. I’ve had a chance to contact all the contacts I can and let them know that I’m coming back to see them. It’s shocking to me as much as they’re in shock to hear that too. It’s almost unheard of to be able to go back but that’s why I’m so thankful our church continues to support PG&E that we can continue to send out teams and provide opportunities to be a part of what God is doing in China.
I’m not sure what to expect from this trip. I keep telling myself that once I get on that plane, my past experience and glories are out the window. I’m on the same playing field as my teammates. Some who have never been to China, some who have never been on Missions, some who have never seen this missionary and so for all of us this experience is going to be brand new and refreshing for all of us. A part of me though does feel like Apostle Paul where he would write back and even return to the churches he wrote. If my presence in China was to speak volumes of any message, I hope it speaks that this faith this Gospel we believe in and proclaim in China..is real. Real enough for me to spend whatever resources and time this Christmas for more people to hear about our Savior. Real enough that the conviction would even cause others to think, “Why would you leave Christmas for China?” …It’s REAL. My prayer and hope is that those who I met last year can see that Jesus is real. There is a call to proclaim it and it’s a real call.