Month: March 2014

Spirit, lead me where my faith is without borders…

There’s been a recent tug on my heart. A heart for the workplace.

I’ve noticed God’s been opening doors for interesting conversations. Conversations about God on Ash Wednesday with the most random coworker. I’m not denying what’s going on…nothing happens by accident. Everything is known by the sovereign God so how can I doubt?

This past Sunday PB spoke about Exodus 14:13-14:

“Moses answered the people, “Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the LORD will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.”

KEEP CALM & BE STILL.

 

I was challenged once again during responsive prayer time. God, where and what are you calling me to today? Where am I fretting because of my little faith? Where are you asking me to “be still” aka “Don’t be afraid, stand firm and be still.” Some of the things that came to mind were:

Bringing God into the workplace.

Kids Club

Community Groups.

As we sang Oceans, the line “Spirit lead me where my faith is without borders…” Was a prayer of mine. Lead me Holy Spirit where my faith has no ends, no bounds. Only when I have faith, exercise faith will I be able to see God work in His ways- the big, grand, overwhelming ways of God…otherwise, I’ll be settling for my modest calculations which only produce modest results.

I drafted an email today to my coworkers. All the ladies. I thought I’d just call it a school project and hold it from April to December. First Friday Devotionals starting from April. Lunch will be provided. I’ll send out an invitation on Wednesday the week of to get a headcount. I figure just doing the “ReThink” devotionals would be simple, relevant and not overwhelming for them. So far, Rosa and Jane responded and I was amazed already. It’s causing me to build a heart of prayer for my coworkers. To see God’s love penetrate their lives in a new way where they can no longer deny God’s presence.

 

I wait to see you work God. You work..not me. I’m just gonna be still.

 

 

Advertisements

God spoke…

“Search me, O God and know my heart. Test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you and lead me along the path of everlasting life. ” Psalm 139:23-24

Last night during the CG P&P night, I came into the room hesitant and standoffish to the body and to God. I simply came to support Jonathan’s 1st talk on worship as his wife but wasn’t sure whether I wanted to participate. There was no reason or motivation in me to feel this way other than just support the husband and go home.

Once JP’s talk was over, they invited the folks to use the room and pray. I felt that I wanted to talk to God. I did. It felt so long since I had one of those intimate moments with God through times of prayer. So I took the last section in the room by the cry room and knelt before God.

I didn’t know where to start. If I needed to tell something to God I would casually and comfortably but the question posed to us was, “Is there anything that is getting in the way of your worship to God? Is there anything you hold higher than God in your worship?”
How…Where do I even begin in prayer? All I could think of was praying Psalm 139:23-24.

“God would you search my heart. Know me and see if there is anything offensive towards you in me. Reveal it to me God. Show me so I may confess and repent of it.”

Silence. Nothing.

I was hunched over without any expectation to hear from God..maybe it was because I wasn’t practicing prayer on a regular basis or been reading the Word sincerely. I realized I was wrong.

As I rose to sit up, my head could see a little bit above chairs and from there I could see the praise team playing their instruments. I also saw JP and made eye contact with him. I assumed he didn’t realize that I was there in the back kneeling but he quickly started praying..perhaps for me?

As I started back down to my crouching position, this thought just appeared in my head. A statement:

“You are more focused on getting loved from JP than from me.”

“You are more satisfied in JP’s love than the love I have for you.”

I was caught red-handed. I sat there amazed, guilty as charged and taken aback. I would have NEVER guessed that. No matter how hard I would search my heart, I don’t think I would have come to a conclusion as that. I didn’t dare refute it.

God was absolutely right. He knew my sins better than I did. I was so caught up in receiving love from JP that any other love, including God’s seems insufficient for me. I started rewinding the past few weeks and all these whining conversations with God came to mind. The ones where I complained why I didn’t feel loved by JP.

 

That’s a new goal for me.: To be satisfied in God’s love….so that when other loves fail me. I won’t be shaken.